Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Broken Wings

If I love myself,I love u
If I love u,I love myself

I have so much things to tell today,ye la after berhari hari idak meng update kan.Well,mood I adalah half happy half upset,sulky and grumpy gitu.

1.I'am happy because:i just came back from Portugal.Kelas khenn...Nak tayang all the pictures in this blog tak boleh pulak ye.Even tak berduit I kuatkan juga semangat ronggengan I just because of Tipah and The Comolot Friends yg berbulan2 lamanya duk arrange this trip.Cukup cukup je duit makan minum.No shopping shopping like bersama Bang Hj dulu but am felt extremely happy cause finally dapat juga I spending some quality time with my best friend forever and the best part is my dear Ash tak hade bersama2.So damn peace gitu and until now I still can't believe it,mimpi apa?Mcm mana la Ash agree melepaskan I went away with my bbf.Dan pulangnya I dari vocation itu,Ash pun start the action.Dibentak2 dan diherdik2nya bini yg masih ber syndrome jet lag itu sesuka hati makpak him.End up I cried a river mlm2 buta in the bathroom.

2.Enough about the trip,I was crying a lot for past 4 days ago.Penat I memikirkan about this whole marriage episodes.Rasa mcm nak minum clorox pon ada ni.I know that Ash will never going to be just like what I want cause it too difficult for him to change his huduh perangai just because of me.For him,no matter what,I need to accept him unconditionaly(my ass).Dasar jantan asshole!If I attend krav maga,tahu la I nak handle this man.

3.Kesedihan yg entah bila nak habis itu terbawa2 even in my sleeps.Then start la drama rindu tak sudah to my late daughter.Little Zara.How I wish I could hold her in my arm and kissing her red cheeks.Mommy missing u so much sayang.May be it's better to haven't one than to see the one die.

4.Bang Hj called me when I was in Portugal that day,katanya he also bercuti and berkongkek sakan in Penang with the menopause binik and the kids then boleh fulak this Abg Hj questions I macam2.P dng sapa?Awat p tak habaq him?Huhh,ni yg buat I hangin ni.I told him that I p with my ex-bf yg 2x14 tak guna just like him and even in my dreams sekali pon I tak hengen p dng him.But I can't lie to myself,every places that I was visited there,reminding me of him.The unconditional love and the heartbreaking words.Cinta yg menghancukan segala kebahagiaan I until today.

Never mind I've found someone like u,Bang Hj...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Tinggalkan aje your husband. you have but one life to live. Start documenting what he did. kalau dia pukul, make sure you take pictures of the bruises and send it to a trusted friend. life is too short and everuone deserves to be happy.

biah gorgeous said...

if only kuasa talak itu ada pada I.
to be honest i forgot how to live by myself but I tak kan berserah saja.anyway,tq a lot