Wednesday, December 7, 2011

So blue for you

2-3days ni hati i manyak senang cause Ash was so calm gitu if not kejenya nak mem provoked i sesaja.I don't know why but mesti ada someting kan?(laki tak hangin suspicious if hangin lagi I hangin ).So i hade banyak time la meg up to date blog jiwa kacauing i ni.Mcm banyak readers je kan?Tak penting pun anyway cause the important thing is Abg Hj and Tipah will get sentap dng entry2 i yg dikatankan edition mengadu domba dan berkeluh kesah ini.Excuse me,am not a mom's blogger ye yg hidupnya aman bahagia and not yet menunjuk2 one blogger yg duk tayang sekedai handbag collection or luvely picture dng laki masing2 (luvely my ass la Pam).Ikut suka hati masing2 la kan,if tak syuka suka just click button berambus kat atas sana.Ini blog pompuan ter neglect and redha itu ikhlas,pasrah itu menyerah -ongbak min du-.Sure u da nengok kan Pam.I?Tak koser lah,i tak beminat menonton cheritera like this(action nya u Biah,tak nengok citer Malaya kunon,kacang lopakan kulit!)Peace Tipah :).I remember la during study2 dulu u and the geng duk bergilir baca this novel kan.What to do?Bang Hj tak hajar i nengok citer like this.Kan bang.

I had headache last night, kepala i spinning around entah kenapa.I don't think that am pregnant lagi cause i had my period last month.My gynae da habaq so many times after 6 months i da boleh start planning for a 2nd baby.Now da almost 1 year,i mmg tak plan lansung about having another baby.I tak ready lagi anyway.Mentally or physically.Everytime tengok org duk usung pram kesana kemari, mommy's gone crazy tau.So sad and so blue.

I still remember during my pregancy dulu, Abg Hj was upset gila.Dah namanya marriage kan bang.Look at yourself yg kunon kunonnya di neglected oleh bini tua u but bini u beranak sampai 2 times juga kan.Sapa yg tak sayang ank bang?Tak gitu?I admit that i had a trouble to accept the fact that i was pregnant on my 1st trimester of pregnancy dulu .Semuanya tak kena,sudah la i jauh diperantauan then di neglect oleh lelaki ini.Tragedy betul,until finally i start to accept it and sayang so much dng my unborn baby.Mommy love u so much sayang.Dalam marah2 benci2,u beli kan juga baju2 yg so cute for my baby kan bang.Terharu i tau.I told to my unborn baby"Daddy's gemok bought a cute present for u la sayang".Recenty i ada terbaca artical about org2 yg kehilangan mcm i.Katanya "apa perlu disesali dng pemergian seorang ank kecil yg sudah dijanjikan tempatnya di syurga sana?".Tidak la i sesali dng pemergian satu2nya ank kecil kesayangan i itu.I redha cuma tak perlu lah i nyatakan disini how it feel? Bagaimana pedihnya jiwa raga i dng kehilangan itu? Keinduan dan ingatan yg tak pernah lekang from my mind.

Ash my husband: Yes,i tak bahagia dng this marriage.We're so diffrent in everyway,we had a difficult talks,bahagia kah u? U sendiri tak sure kan. I tak tahu apa kesudahan our marriage but i won't give up and tidak la i ni meroyan nak bercerai berai saja.Kalau benar jodoh we both panjang berjela2 doa i semoga our marriage akan bertemu bahagia dan semoga Tuhan kurniakan we both dng seorang lagi ank kecil secantik Zara my baby.Al-fatihah

2 comments:

hobbit1964 said...

Your'e absolutely right.
The loss of a child can never feel right.
Nor be sublimated with words.

biah gorgeous said...

Yes,it hurts instead