Thursday, July 12, 2012

Tiada Lagi

Hari ini setelah bulan,minggu dan hari silih berganti I masih meratapi pemergian orang orang tersayang dalam hidup I.Nothing will ease that.Pemergian yang harus I terima dengan redha.There's time I remember every single things about them and yes it's hurt dan bila sendirian begini I can feel that they're so close to me...rindu sangat.

My gp told me to banyak banyak berehat,jaga makan minum,take the medicine on time dan tenangkan fikiran.I hate hospital then they allowed me to stay at home.So berehat sungguh la I but as usual I have to juggling with the house chores,nak harap sapa lagi kan.Sakitnya terasa seluruh urut saraf,specially at night.I kerap terjaga then start la drama ayaq mata.I didn't tell my parent about tis cause I know my mak will get upset and worried so I tells my sisters to jaga mulut them.Ye la my Kak Ngah tu selalu je terlepas cakap depan my makapak, belum kira lagi her daughter yang mulut serupa maknenek.If not tak ada pasalnya adik beradik tahu I kena halau tengah malam buta.

Dengan keadaan I yang tak sihat ni,I have to stay even I don't know if I can.Terlalu banyak cerita sedih dalam rumah ni.I baru perasan lagu centa yang kononnya hanya untuk I,our love song la kaedahnya.Tanda centa him.Semuanya bullshit!.I found that he was dedicated that song to Kak Hapam too.Yes,pompuan like me will get upset over small small thing like this and if I told this anyone but a lunatic would consider me a lunatic too.Benda yang sudah usah dikenang kenang.Tak ada sudahnya when it comes about tis both cilaka.He knew how to hurt myself and he's already broke my heart badly and now I have no word for the way I feel and it's will be so much harder to get through the days...

Bang Hj made a promise(dulu dulu punya cerita),abang akan teman you kalau you masuk hospital cause I knew you tak suka stay there.I cuma mampooooo tersenyum(sweet nya) then I told him that there will be a time I will remind him of what he promised.Tengok je janji janji jantan ni boleh pakai ke tidak.Haram tis Hj nak menalipon I tanya khabar...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

finished reading ur entries.
hmm... I couldn't understand why on earth u r still in the marriage.
if u really unhappy with the marriage, get ur ass out of it. For real.For god sake, why u wanna torture urself defending something that obviously not giving u happiness?
or is it because of sex? some people unconciously refuse to leave the marriage because of great sex life she/he's having.

apologize, for me..after reading all your entries... I couldn't help but put on judgement on u. u are weak, and tau meroyan kat blog sahaja. thing would never, NEVER change for u by meroyan at ur blog. leave him, and start looking for ur own happiness.

Anonymous said...

rasa nyer u masih tak boleh lupa kata-kata manis dan pujuk rayu dia, suatu masa dulu. ianya umpama rekorder yang berulang-ulang di fikiran.saya pun pernah berada di dalam situasi ini. memang u kata semua nya 'bullshit' tapi dalam hati menafikannya. masih mengharap. sama seperti saya.insyallah saya berjaya melupakannya dan meneruskan kehidupan yang lebih ceria.dan saya berdoa u juga dapat melupakanya.

liza-kb