Friday, May 30, 2014

may 2014


I’ve started to think what I wanted to write in this post, since malam semalam  lagi I rasa so blue… sangat and this morning pulak mengantuk yang amat.Ikutkan hati tak koser I nak pergi kerja.Talk about kerja ni lagi la buat I rasa so sick and currently I tengah busy p interview sana sini perhaps few month from now dapat la I kerja baru. Reason being  gaji adalah sangat sikit (after bagi duit kat ibuk mertua,pay my bills dan kena pau dengan  laki yang tinggal is sangat sedih) comparing to my kerja yang berlambak lambak and yes I know sure ada yang kata aku ni perasan diva sangat.Ok la I don’t mind about keje selambak tu ye la kan if not 1st month lagi I da berambus khennn.The main reasons is I cannot stand with the politic kotor at this place and the favoritism too cause sampai bila pon I cant transform myself to be kap lam like them. 

My mum&dad tak sihat, sakit tua.How I wish I selalu ada dengan my parent,Setakat ni apa yang I mampu  buat is make sure bagi pocket money to both of them.Ye la duit yang I bagi tu memang tak banyak mana pon nak compare dengan adik beradik I yang lain.I talked to Bella about my frustration and am surprised when she said that the main reasons she still live in KL is because of my parent. Katanya dia takut if anything happen to mymum then dia tak sempat nak balik.
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Just recently I was bumped into Fernando kat mall tepi rumah.The babi part is bila nampak I je terus dia pegang tangan bini dia kuat kuat.Eh babi la sangat kan kau tu!That time I was with my laki and Adam,glad la masa tu I tak selekeh ok.Hurm…I wonder why I tak rasa apa pon bila jumpa him,before that I selalu terfikir what will happen if see him nanti.Ok la I may be tak happy macam him but am not miserable.I don’t say that am happy tak ada cinta but so far it’s easier to be like this (takat ni la) selama bertahun tahun ni I’ve learn a lot about relationship and I still can survive bila centa suci I fell apart...The first person yang I mengadu of course la Bella then I told Tipah too.Pompuan tu cakap awat I tak p pegang tangan laki I.Ish…gila apa nak p pegang tangan laki.Karang dia cakap aku buang tebiat cause normally we both jalan sebatu sebatu but since ada Adam ni dekat sikit la.Cuma koser la nak pegang pegang dia.Pegangkan his credit card boleh.Actually since I balik KL(da dekat 2years la kiranya) sekali pon tak pernah I terpandang or terserempak dengan him.Jodoh sangat la tu kan.
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I masih lagi dengan my decision nak berambus away from this marriage even I can see that jantan ada la berubah sikit, no please don’t say I saja cari banyak alasan to stay.I tried so hard but,selalu saja ada benda yang halang i.e my financial issue yang sangat sedih.Kak Ngah cakap”please don’t tell me ko stay because of Adam”.That jantan pulak cakap esok pon dia boleh ceraikan I but jangan mimpi la I nak bawak Adam with me.

Bella thought if I find someone then it's will be easier for me to leave that jantan.Celah mana pulak aku nak cari jantan lain???


Losing Adam is like organ damage…