Friday, March 30, 2012

The Punishment 2

Lately,I asyikla termimpi mimpikan Fernando but bukanla mimpi yang set set aksi porn star tu ye,tak hengen pon.At least once a week.Apa kejadahnya?.Adakah ini yang dinamakan punishment?.Because it was ended horribly between us and I left him for another jantan tak guna.Asshole.And recently,I heard about sindir sindiran cubit cubitan oleh Fernando's model modelan(la sangat).She said to udah udahla duk mengganggu tunangan or rumahtangga orang ni cause hukumnya is dosa.Amboi duk bergambar tayang boobs aksi pompuan gersang nak kote tu apa pulak hukumnya?.I tak tahu,you kan pandai that why la confident je even duk pegang tittle repeates.Nak habaq mai ni,when I was in university dulu I ni boleh la di category kan as set set yang tak cerdik langsung.Bila ada yang bertanya specially dengan intention untuk meng compare kan kecerdikan depa dengan I yang tak cerdik ini.Awatnya pointer I ni selalu nau cukup cukup makan je?.Dengan malu malu I pon jawab la persoalan yang menjadi tanda tanya itu.I said because I tak minat dengan course yang I hadap for almost 5 years itu.Then Tipah yang super cerdik itu sure akan back-up I,"at least 3 pointer kan then tak penah la pulak biah duk reapeat any papers".I love you big big la Pah!.For me repeat me repeat ni is a small issues unless duk me repeat je kejanya tak lepas lepas,something wrong la tu but then kan set set bimbo mcm Fernando's model modelan,diam diam udah la ni tak abis abis la duk bagi statement bimbo you then bila kena provoked tahu pulak you merempan rempan(I pinjam Apam's favourite word).Admit je la yang you ni tak berapa cerdik.Tak jejas pon kejelitaan you tu.

Model modelan,nasib you baik cause I was deleted all the smses from your Fernando Alejandro yang menyatakan kerinduan,makan tak lalu,malam terbayang bayang if not you tahu la siapa yang over?.Siapa yang ganggu siapa?.Yes,in my previous posts memang berlambak la I duk moaned about kerinduan dan penyesalan I towards Fernando but tak koser tau I cuba cuba menyatakan perasaan yang terpendam deep in myheart dan segala bentuk perasaan buang tabiat I itu dalam apa jua kaedah to him.Whatever happened happened.

For better or worst I kena la paham perasaan kaum sejenis I kan.Siapa yang tak nak bahagia selama lamanya.I pejam mata dengan tindakan kali ke-2(da masuk 3 actually) tis model modelan to annoyed me.Perhaps after Fernando's kote jadi hak milik her nanti then the merempan rempan and psycho symptoms will go away.Dah banyak kali I mentioned,ambik la sana duda I itu.Please la,hentikan duk menyamau nyamau jadi my ex-schoolmate then duk add I in the fakebook.I tak layan.You tahu tak if pompuan tu dapat tahu you abused her's picture tak pasal pasal you kena sue nanti.Nowdays orang da alert about the tricks of cyber criminals.You kan cerdik,nowdays ramai yang p belajaq sampai menara gading sana so tak yah action sangat ye,I cukup menyampah ok bila baca statement orang orang yang suka nau menunjuk nunjuk kecerdikanya cause she/he belajar sampai university as if orang keliling semua set set bangang.Kalau pandai sangat takan la duk repeat paper kan.Tak malu ke?.Beside takan la you tak tahu about the consequences?.I yang tak cerdik ni pon will make sure dulu before publish or do anything on there and I will check who can be my friends on the fakebook itu.I kenal siapa kawan kawan I even ada yang da bertukar kepada body makbapak budak or cantik ber botox segala dan yang takat kenal kenal gitu,pandang tak pandang I masa zaman comot comot dulu memang I tak layan la.Ni kan pulak yang terang terang fake,duk letak gambar pompuan cantik tayang boobs lagi.Why tak letak your pictures.You kan cantik sangat.Tak confident ke?.Eh if you add I pakai your own profile pon I don't mind la to approve it then I bagi you masa 48 hours to godek what in myprofile.Tengok la puas puas sana.Who am I?.What I'am?.And yang buat I tak paham kan why la my other classmates boleh duk approved tis kind of pompuan psycho as a friend.Come on la,alert la sikit dengan siapa nak berkawan even on the sosial networking site.I memang tak ada musuh cause I tak suka bergaduh.Dengan si Apam pon I boleh berkawan,ye she was mengata I in the blog then I did the same la,nak gaduh tarik tudung 10$ her,tak worth it pulak.Apam,if you nak laki cinta mati I itu pon I sanggup beralah.I'am not the type yang menayang segala bentuk material yang I ada or merempan rempan in fakebook so tak ada sebab why orang nak tahu sangat apa yang I buat dan da bertahun I tak update.Then if ada mysterious person add me,there must be a reason.If jantan yang add,boleh la I perasan hot kan cause ada juga yang nak berkenalan but apa kejadahnya pompuan like her nak kenal I?.Fake pulak tu.I kesian dengan you,d cause cinta baru you tu set set psycho rupanya.If I tell you about tis sure you tak percaya,sure you cakap,"b jealous kan".Tak koser la I nak ber jealous jealous segala dengan your model modelan(la sangat) itu.

Model modelan,ambil la segalanya from Fernando.Kasih sayang,cinta suci(suci ke),rete benda,kote pink color itu(kalau masih pink la) dan seluruh jiwa raga him.Semua untuk you.But remember tis,even it's all ends,deep in Fernando's heart,he will always think about me and all the memoirs and love between us.Trust me,you nor him can't do anything.It will be so much harder for him to forget it(sebab nak jaga hati you),well I was probably his first love.Centa mati.Berbahagialah you hendaknya denga segala kenangan I and him dan bayang bayang I yang you benci separuh jiwa cause that your choice.Percayalah dalam dunia yang dikatakan tak adil ini any compromise between good and evil,it's only evil that can profit.

Bila rasa sunyi dan tak ada teman bercakap,I mulala terkenangkan Bang Hj.Kata him,"abang ada belikan something for you from mylast visiting to Dubai dulu but tak boleh nak post cause besaq sangat kotaknya".Apa yang besaq sangat tu bang?.Awat you belikan I Versace's sofa pe?,and now I tahu,Bang Hj Schumacher was in *****

Thursday, March 22, 2012

jantan...

Someone was told me,"the devil you know it is better than the devil you don't know".Well,bila da berusia ni baru la I'd realized akan kebenaran kata2 sebegitu.Just like me and Fernando,we both bercenta for over a decade and now even it ends both of us still remember akan baik buruk hodoh perangai each other and I belive if let say ditakdirkan I terjumpa Fernando dimana mana,we both can still berborak sampai ke pagi macam dulu2 cause terlalu banyak yg hendak diluahkan.Terlalu banyak yg akan disesali.Same thing dng Bang Hj,I still don't find the strenght in me to meet him again cause terlalu banyak pengorbanan yg tak dihargai,ketidak adilan,penipuan dan pembaziran air mata.

Just recently,I minta izin from the highness to join pilates class(even I tahu jawapanya nanti is a big NO) but yg buat I tak paham is when he'd said,"sia sia la sembahyang you pegi tempat mcm tu".From my reliable source that place(studio) memang khas utk pompuan sesaja so what the problem?.Then yg buat I hampir hampir nak berlaku nusyuz bila he'd said about baju yg I akan pakai during the class nanti.Apa masalahnya?I akan pakai just like everybody(yg bertudung)and hence dlm class tu nti sah sah semua pompuan,free hair pon tak apa.Why don't he tell me straight to myface about sapanya yg nak membayar the bill nti.I will understand,tak perlu la nak cakap about sembahyang plus aurat segala then all this while,you kelua masuk gym yg memang sah sah jumlah pompuan yg p tu lebih ramai than jantan,apa kes?Beside work-up dan menayang 6 pack body,you buat apa?.Tengok bontot betina ke?What about sembahyang you?.I'am sick of his selfishness.Too much in pain nak mengadap muka him.I minta izin nk p pilates,bukan nak p masuk the biggest orgy pon then tak habis2 highlight about nusyuz.I terfikir jantan like him yg claimed datang dari kalangan bijak pandai family,tahu ke sebab sebab berlakunya nusyuz dipihak binik ni selalunya because of the jantan itself tak sedar diri yg depa pon nusyuz.Salah satu sebab berlakunya nusyuz dipihak laki is bila silaki abaikan tanggungjawab dalam pemberian nafkah beside bila silaki tak bagi kasih sayang to binik and the kids pon dikira nusyuz.Eh,kalau you nak org sayang you,cinta you setengah mati then belajar la sayang and cinta org 1st if not diam-diam sudah.The highness complained,I ni lebihkan myfriend than him,excited gila bila nak jumpa myfriend,dng Tipah siap ber I love you I love you segala.Eh,karang if I ber I love you in your pasebook wall ada(agak agak siapa?)yg sentap sampai tak capai tahap orgasm pulak nanti.I mmg jahil bab2 agama,that why I not simply talk about it dan kalau I khilaf ada someone yg akan guide I.

Bang Hj tak call since last week and I pon tak hengen call him so I sibukkan myself dng benda2 yg berpaedah.It's a good start.Perhaps I can forget him(at least I try kan).The past is the past and it's dangerous to go back.

Monday, March 19, 2012

It's Written

Kesayangan said I could do nothing about Ash and his huduh perangai cause it was written.So,suka atau tidak I kena hadap juga.Itu kan laki I.As usual I'd gone through another sad sad and malancholy weekends(amboi bersastera I),but it ok cause I sudah biasa.

I tak kawan Bang Hj tembam for past few days ago because of unreasonable reasons.That mean,I'd ignored saja bila tis Hj call or sms.Tis Hj told me it's wasn't fair when I chosed to met myfriend instead of him.Then kan bang, fair enough la ye when you chose to sikit2 nak kena jaga hati binik you saja instead of menjaga hati I yg so small ini?.Remember ye,am not your centa anymore.Tak penah la pulak I merayu rayu pada you to stay."please,jangan tinggalkan kasih,bang".You boleh berambus sesuka suka hati binik you and I don't mind sangat(???).I tak suka you!.Benci.Semuanya sudah tertulis...

Last night kan dikala I kesunyian even laki I was at home tapi duk terperap dalam bilik since pagi,I pon searched la about jantan yg bagi name card kat I when I was melantak at KLCC dulu2 through fakebook.Tell you what,that jantan was menikah and the binik tengah sarat mengandung,dasar jantan sundal sundalan.That why la duk mengusung paperbag from Women's Secret(bersangka baik la ye,untuk binik rupanya).Nasib la that time I tak perasan diva (mcm you la,Apam.asal jantan compliment cantik je terus percaya) if not sure I da contact him then jatuh centa and then again when I come to my senses baru la nak menyesal.Menyampah je org baca confession yg sebegini rupa kan.It's was written.

Since his dream came true ni kan,Fernando da jarang contact.That day ada la I texted him to bertanya about his mother(mak mertua tak jadi I ).Sejak2 I left him dulu,I never meet the mak anymore apatah lagi nak tanya I.Sungguh kacang lupakaan kulit I ni.Marahkan the royal's family and Fernando punya pasal then I terlupa yg the mak was baik dng I.Out of the blue,boleh pulak the mak came into mimpi I.Then bila I tanya Fernando about his mak,tentu tentu la disangka kanya I ni membuang tabiat yg bertimbun timbun.So mcm2lah tis Fernando tanya I then I'd asked him,"kalau ada masa boleh ke b dtg rumah to visit mak".Kata him datang je la tak kisah pon.I'd noticed Fernando da tak mcm dulu.Tanya dua patah he'd responded setengah patah je.Small heart I dibuatnya.

Dulu masa Fernando frust menonggeng ditinggalkan I,day and night la mencari cari I and I yg berhati so small ni dengakan je la his confession tu.Nak berubah la.Want me back la.During myfirst year of marriage dulu(masa ni terkejut menderita I mengadap Ash) tis Fernando still la meluahkan isi hati to me.He'd said,"tak akan ada pompuan lain yg boleh ganti I".Tak habis habis la duk menyesal about buruknya perangai him masa dng I dulu.Mengadu about desperate nya pompuan2 yg he'd kenal through fakebook itu,baru kenal da lentok lentok kepala to him,tak sempat2 ajak menikah,mata wang ringgit and blablabla...That time tak ada la pulak I bermain centa dng him or suruh tunggu I cerai berai then we both bercenta lagi.Yes,many times I'd wrote in tis blog about menyesalnya I cause meninggalkan him dahulu,about kerinduan I to him yg terlarang ini but tak penah la pulak I tell him about that.Why?.Because I sedar diri.And now,Fernando da jumpa someone yg totally not like me.Tengah angau bercinta.I jealous,but I could do nothing pon and yes in myheart,I doakan yg baik2 for him.Bagi chance la he merasa mcm mana manisnya hidup berumahtangga after that tengok la macam mana.

And I knew,Fernando sure da bersumpah janji setia that he will never ever contact I selalu sangat to the model modelan(la sangat).Berjanji depan p*** le tu.I paham that why I pon tak koser contact him suka2 hati I cause I'd respect cinta suci both of 'em.And I juga tak de la naik hantu when I found that model modelan try to get to know me through hers fake identity cause I paham how it feel even dlm hati punya la confident yg you la pompuan tercantik lagi bertuah that why you dapat jantan perasan hot.It's ok as long as she tak cari pasal dng I mcm si Apam tu.Tak koser la I nak layan hanky panky ni(boleh ke guna ayat mcm gini).Ambik la duda I itu.

Well,I'd told Fernando that ours love affair was bittersweet and beautifully written and nobody can't argue about tis and even it all ends but there's memoirs and deepest(haruslah over sikit)love between us...

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

About Kawin&Beranak

Today, I adalah sedikit sentap&sedih.I barely got to sleep last night.Sikit2 terjaga.The highness centa mati I,berkeruh tak hengat.I liked to listen to his breathe and looked at his face in the dark...

Semalam I was berchatting on ym and fakebook yg tunggu masa je I nak deactivate itu.I ni mmg selalu la sangat ketinggalan about any latest hottest gossip.Org duk sibuk ber forums about Malaya's controversial actress yg sudah pon announced about their wedding.Macam2 comments yg I baca.What to do kan?Dah namanya actress of course la org sibuk nak ambik tahu.So nak tak nak hadap je la.But then kan yg I tak berkenan tu is bila baca nasty comments yg as if depa saja la yg betul.Org nak menikah,patutnya doa dan harap yg baik2 bukannya duk carut and sumpah seranah.Mcm I doakan yg baik2 to Apam bila I dapat tahu yg she was pregnant even dlm hati I ni masih berasap asap.Boleh pulak kelua statement"malang la sapa yg kawin dng dia ni" dan "wanita yg baik untuk lelaki yg baik".Well I bukanlah peminat tegar tis actress but we have to be rational la kan.Jangan pandang negative saja.Bila bercakap soal hukum-hakam & dosa pahala,bukan main hebat.Siap copy paste statements alim ulamak segala but bila duk comments and judge perihal org,terus lupa diri.Suka hati hukum org masuk neraka.Apakah?.Soal jodoh pertemuan,kawin cerai,hidup mati & takdir ni bukan ke kerja Tuhan?.Kata pandai bab2 agama?.But why bila berhujah sampai lupa diri?.Even tak suka sekali pon kan.Ye I paham,bila rasa2 too religious and too pandai ni we tend to point our finger to judge instead of menolong (kata2 semangat,pendapat,pendapatan dan nasihat yg baik tu kira menolong juga la kan).

Tell you what,laki ni atau jantan tak kira la depa ni sebaik2 or seburuk2 manusia when it come to soal memilih calon binik,of couse la depa nak pompuan baik2 saja.At least baik pada mata depa.Soal kawin terpaksa tu lain la pulak ye.Berapa ramai jantan yg I kenal even perangai species gajah gersang mengamuk,kaki judi,kaki betina,mabuk mabukkan segala but menikah dng pompuan yg baik2,nak jemur kain kat lua rumah pon minta izin laki(mcm binik you kan Bang Hj sayang?).I bagi contoh myself la(nak cakap pasal org lain sungguh kak nam la pulak kan).Bila I tanya the highness,why he chose me?.Kata him because I ada ciri2 binik yg meet his expectation(even the highness and the gang berselera pompuan dikalangan model modelan dan flight attendant saja)."like what?",tanya I lagi cause tak berapa nak paham.Kata him,because:

a.I pandai ambik hati the duke's family specially makapak him so both makapak suka I.Mana taknya asal mengadap the duke's family je I bawak present for the mom la selalunya beside I kan tak banyak cakap if the mom duk bercerita about el be bag or chopard's cen2,I denga je.Sikit pon I tak penah try to tunjuk pandai apetah lagi nak tell her yg I pon ada menda sebegitu.

b.before menikah dulu I la yg jaga rumah dan mymakapak(kemas rumah,anta mak p sepital,teman apak p beli newspaper cause apak tak berani drive sorang2,etc),that times mybro kerja oversea then mykesayangan yg seramai 6 org itu da ada their own life.Sapa tak centa makapak kan?.Sitanggang tu pon ada effect bersalah time duk menghalau maknya soh berambus from the ship.Kata him,I ada ciri2 anak yg baik dan mendengar kata makapak(he tak tahu I ni manja&kuat merajuk) plus I juga pandai mengurus rumahtangga.

c.I dtg dari keturunan yg baik2.Subur ok.Kesayangan 6 org dan beberapa org abang.Walau pun family I tak sekhelas la sangat as duke's family kan(we don't stay in the bungalow la sangat,tak merasa p holiday sampai ke Italy,tak bercampur dng set2 vvip,eh bila duke's business melingkop vvip ada tolong ke?.tolong tengok from far far away,gelak then gossip ada la.bertambah jahat mulut I kan).Adik beradik I at least ada yg belajar sampai the Uk sana(Malay's mentality kan asal belajar oversea je kira bagus ler),eh ada juga adik beradik I yg berkelulusan from the Al-Azhar ok,kerja at mmc,manger yg gajinya belas ribu jer at world's most successful petroleum company,beli audi cars baya sendiri(nak beli x7 tak mampu kan then tak ada sampai bergadai kete cause tak mampu bayaq.hikkk)kesayangan I juga ada yg jadi boss besaq at one of goverment's agency tau but then again dlm ramai2 adik beradik I ada juga la yg set2 tak boleh dibanggakan langsung the contoh is I ler sapa lagi kan.Belajar pon gitu2 je but ada hati nak future study sampai ke UK.Ada juga yg spm pon tak lepas but tak de la pulak nyusahkan makapak.The best part is makapak da ajar to not berlagak sesuka hati dng apa yg ada dan kepentingan hubungan baik sesama family.I'am blessed among the other janda to be.

d.Makapak include family semua merestui our relationship even mak I punya la sayang yg amat dng him,kekasih lama puaka(from now I nak call him Fernando la ye).Yes even though si Fernando tu suka berperangai bimbo but mak suka him(Fernando's mak sama keturunan dng mymak beside depa serasai bila bergossip).The highness kan sopan santun,baik budi pekerti(la sangat) so mak no hal sangat la nk accept him as menantu hantu.Same thing la dng adik beradik I,depa don't mind.The highness tak tahu mybig bro hangin dng him until now cause menumbuk wajah suci adik manja him ini.Next time if he do it again mybro mmg tak bagi chance punya.When the first time I naik hantu then mintak cerai dulu kan,the highness told me that he tak akan ceraikan I cause makapak I da amanahkan(you amanah ke jaga I?)I to him and he said lagi yg he tak sampai hati cause mymak baik sangat dng him(just imagine la if mymak tahu perangai durjana him).

Dan sebenarnya,I was dreamed of jantan baik as myhusband.I sedar diri.I made a stupid mistake dizaman muda remaja I dulu and I learned from it.As the women yg serba tiada ini I didn't put a high expectation dlm memilih jantan(paras rupa&duit ringgit bukan keutamaan sangat) dan I juga percaya restu makapak dan family sangat penting.Setelah berusaha untuk jadi lebih baik dan bertawakal,I serahkan segalanya padaNya.I juga tak minta mymarriage berantakan begini and I tak marah bila ada yg mengatakan,"ini semua karma,biah".Myjanda friends told me masa belum bercerai kasih dng the laki dulu,the laki selalu nau balik at 2-3-4 a.m in the morning then bila balik je mandi2 ambik bantal selimut tidoq depan tv.Merana la myfriend tidoq sorang2 without sentuhan the laki.Mahu tak horny dibuatnya.I asked her la kan,the laki layan her so so but why she hadap sangat the laki punya nafkah batin tu?.She told me yg sex and their marriage problem is 2 diffrent things.Dah tak centa tu satu hal la kan then bila in bed of couse la the excitment pon so so.I?.I performed myduties as the binik la.

Talk about beranak pinak,lately ni kan sejak2 body I bertambah2 slim kemana I pegi sure ada yg bertanya"da berisi ke blom,biah".I senyum2 je la tak pon bagi jawapan cliché,"belum ada rezeki la".Bila tengok org kehulur kehilir usung pram kan hati I yg so small ni menangis sedih but tak ada la I ikutkan hati sangat.Apa kan daya,I da gone through mengandung dan beranak serupa tak ada laki but if I ter pregnant lagi,I terima apa adanya.Persetan la sana dng cakap2 org yg duk mengata I ni jaga body sangat that why takut nak mengandung.Perlu ke I habaq kat semua org about mymarriage yg tak serupa other couples in fakebook sana tu?.Frankly said,bila da bertahun duduk berdua duaan ni kan sometimes tu mmg terasa sangat why at least kena ada seorang anak kecil to make me smile."mommy rindu Zara sangat2"

I baru baca about Erykah Badu's concert yg diharamkan kat Malaysia ni before that kan I ada la baca about tis issue in seorang yg pandai dan very down to earth plus funny(tak kenal in person pon) wrote about tis EB.Duk terfikir la I sapa kah EB ni.Dasar uneducated betul la I ni.Maklum je la tis gadget sangat tak canggih.Banyak website yg I tak boleh nengok.Youtube or Redtube pon tak boleh play.Just imagine la how kesiannya I.

Kesayangan texted me last morning,katanya she was belikan I 2 pairs of gorgeouslicious dress from Jakarta.I kan pompuan materialistic so I happy la kan but then nak pakai p mana?.I da la 24/7 terperap in tis house.Dress yg dulu pon tak terpakai lagi tau.The highness selalu bising bila kesayangan beliin I something,kata him,"why la adik beradik pompuan you suka membazir beli unnecessary things begini?".Banyak bunyi pulak,tak ada la mahal sangat pon setakat beli Charles&Keith's bag yg the price below 250$ tu kan,lain la if beli Tods or peekaboo bag ke.Bila I minta from him pandai pulak cakap,"eh bukan ke that day dotdot ada belikan you,buat apa banyak2?".Same thing la bila I selekeh2(pakai the same baju more than twice)p kelua makan dng him,"why you pakai mcm ni yang?(si Apam dipanggil baby) pakai la baju yg dotdot beli that day,cantik baju tu.I suka".Laki I,laki I...

*baru baru ni kan I ada la nengok cite kak ogy ahmad daud in siaran berbayar,cite about janda yg menjadi rebutan jantan baik and jantan durjana but sempat tengok half je la then the highness boleh cakap dekat I,"mcm tu la jadi janda,you ingat senang ke?".

*he know about tis blog ke ha???

Monday, March 12, 2012

What Goes Around, Comes Around

Can't answer the phone...
bill charge very expensive...u tau kan abg kat oversea...
bukanya xingat.
(01*-***95**)

Bang Hj,
I tak boleh tido cause siang tadi I belasah nap from 1 p.m to 4 p.m.Abg tanya,"why kasih(nama manja I.bweksss)suka nau tidoq disiang hari?"Alah you ni kan bang saja tau.You tahu kan I ni housewife yg tak berapa nak desperate.Siang tadi I rasa mcm nak demam tau then I pon talked to my laki yg busy mengadap ipad itu.I told him yg I ni rasa mcm nak demam kura2 but laki I buat tak tahu ajer.Syton ni rojim betul la.So I don't know what to do lah then kan I rasa mcm nak nangis pon ada tau.Mula la I teringat my mak kat kampung sana.If I demam dan merengek2 manja sure my mak picit2 badan I yg slim ni.Mak so jauh la bang,you pon jauh...I asked the highness yg I rindu mak so much so I nak balik kampung tidoq sana 1 week but the highness told me"boleh bla".Kata him,"tempat isteri adalah disamping suaminya.I tak balik you tak yah mimpi nak balik".Ye betul,si suami ada kat rumah bersama isteri but si suami duk ngadap pc,notebook,ipad&taliponpandainya dr pg sampai la ke petang.Main forex apa?,mintak sini birkin sebijiks(sempat lagi berangan).Neglected the binik.Adakah wajar?

Abg pon selalu juga mengadu domba dekat I kan.Abg tak ada kawan lain ye?Abg selalu cakap yg your marriage tak happy.You live a lie.Bukan ke you told me that,"dalam dunia ni no such things as bed of roses all the time lah kasih".We have to be realistic la bang.Marriages life can be as hot as fire and as cold as an ice.Hot and cold,macam lagu Kthy Perry.You still remember that song?Dulu I selalu nyanyi for you kan then you tegelak2.

I tahu you sayang the kids cause you told me so.I pon sayang both of them that why I left you.Dalam hidup ni we made a sacrifice even kerna terpaksa.So tahan la you stayed dng binik menopause itu(tis Hj yg bagi tis term ye,binik him kan).You ni kan bang,menapouse pon every night you peluk her kan.You bang her kan.I know cause I pon da menikah in ages.You cakap je berapi2 but I know dalam hati you masih ada centa yg suci(la sangat)for her beside the binik banyak habis duit kat you.Tis statement la yg I ulang over and over.

Bang,you tahu kan the consequences if let say the menopause tahu you menyundal behind her.Sure she mengamuk on twitter.Alah dulu masa you tahu the menopause ada secret admire pon you jealous kan.For me,itulah namanya centa...I pon centa the highness,in my way.My life sangat la hard bersama lelaki yg tak centakan I apatah lagi memberikan layanan yg sewajarnya pada I.In bed boleh pulak mintak I beraksi porn star.Usah diharap la ye.But then kan for some reasons(sementara menunggu mission impossible jadi kenyataan) it's way much better than being alone.Mengapa la susah betul nak adjust to being alone macam dulu2.Dulu ok je duk rumah malam2 tak berteman now ni if tido tak berteman(macam at maytower that day)sure I on the light,tv,radio dan segala gadgets yg ada sampai ke subuh.The truth is kata2 seperti,"what goes around,comes around" doesn't always work in every case...

**Bang,ada yg menemani ke outstation tempat sejuk2 sana?.
**Tak ingat I tak mengapa but ingat la the menopause and the kids ye.
**Remember about tis entry's tittle too..hikss

Friday, March 9, 2012

Complaining

Lately,I malas sesangat nak update tis blog.Masa2 yg berlebih2 itu I habiskan dng activities yg berpaedah to myself.I da pandai berlulur at home.Ye la if I mintak izin(bukan mintak duit ye)the highness nak p spa of course la tak dilayanya.Habis satu body I sental.Ada yg bertanya pada I,"beriya jaga body ni untuk sapa?".Sungguh Kak Nam question sebegitu.I said,"for myself la" then bolehnya di laser I back,"bukan untuk suami ke?.kita org perempuan ni berlawa2 hanya untuk suami,haram hukumnya kalau niat kita nak menunjuk2 kat jantan lain".Kesitu pulak dah.I biasa denga org bijak pandai berkata(laki I),there are two sides to every story:one side is right and the other is wrong but the middle is always evil.Tak koser I nak argue.I kan uneducated that why la benda simple mcm gitu pon I tak tahu.

It's harder to get through the days actually but berkeluh kesah dan tak buat apa2 pon tak guna.Kata the highness I kena belajar bersyukur dng apa yg ada dan stop complaining.Itu kata him.Why?I ni tak layak bersuara ke?.I'am the type yg tahu ukur baju dibadan I(even selalu je berselera mak datin)dan I juga terima apa adanya dng ketentuan ini but bukan ke everybody deserve to be happy,berusaha untuk mengubah nasib dan dapatkan apa saja yg diangau2kan.I'am not talking about money.He don't understand bila I duk moan about my kesunyian dan tak bahagianya our marriage.Happiness tu very subjective,ada org sangat happy even pakai coach bag tepi jalan mari,ada org pulak sangat happy update the fakebook wall about penyayang nya laki her cause tolong buatkan susu anak sementara binik duk belek profile org lain.Kesayangan I pesan,dalam marriage ni kenala give and take.Eh,kalau our partner tu kejanya nak take saja apa kes?

As the binik I juga kena patuh dng kehendak the highness.I do.Even though perasaan centa tu da nyawa2 ikan.So mmg susah la the highness nak cari salah I but I can't do anything bila the highness masih la tak paham2 about kehidupan berumahtangga ni,about his responsibility.Just recently,my kesayangan ajak I teman her p meeting plus melancong to Ho Chi Minh-Hong Kong-Jakarta-Singapore for 2 weeks.Of course la segalanya free kan,I ni tinggal bawak body je beside kesayangan I told me if I sayang nak tinggal laki I lama2 at home I can choose nk p trip yg mana but seperti yg I jangkakan the highness mmg tak baginya.I diam je,no comment.Patuh.Beside,i bukan hadap sangat nak p berjalan cause I da rasa mcm mana boring nya p berjalan jauh2 tak berduit ni(nak beli postcard pon i berkira2)then balik penat2 kena pekik tengah mlm buta.Terseksa jiwa I.Same thing la masa I p KL that day,the highness tahu my kesayangan already arrange everything for me include the bills so he slumber badak bagi I 50$ je.Terkejut mykesayangan.After I beli ticket 30$(duit ticket nak balik tak dibaginya),bayar the cab 10$ after that p makan at Pelita,15$ so I kena tambah another 5$.Just imagine la how kedekutnya him.Selebihnya my kesayangan punya duit.Beli bra pon org bayakan.Kelass you,biah.This time I think,I'am to blame cause tersalah pilih laki.

*Bang Hj tembam berat was in B******

*Kesayangan belikan I sexy shoes(siap pos lagi) before she fly sana sini that day.